Habits

Habits

Today I am reminded of Stephen Covey’s national bestseller “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”  Here is my take on it for writers.

1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win/Win
5. Seed First to Understand...Then to be Understood
6. Synergize
7.  Sharpen the Saw

And the 8th Habit is about seeing, shifting and harnessing a new dimension.

• Find Your voice and Inspire Others to Find Theirs

It is about moving from being an effective writer to a great writer.

For those of us who write because we simply cannot not write, writing is an expression of our deeper selves, that which we care deeply about, our wisdom and our journey through life.

All writers have a trajectory.  When I’ve found authors that I love, I almost always go back in time and read all they’ve written in order.  It helps me to see that they grew into greatness over time.  It also reminds me to be patient with myself as I evolve, not only in my writing but in my overall life.

Being Proactive puts me in a position of choice about my writing.  I often use a seven column planning sheet to carve out an idea.  It allows me to be proactive in planning and detailing the important components of a story or article.  I take responsibility for my moods which affect whether I write or don’t.  I don’t blame others or circumstances.  Usually I fall off my schedule of writing because my life gets too hectic.  At those times I seek to create order in my life, prioritize the important and urgent things to get them off my plate and understand that I can’t always accomplish as much as I would like to because I live in a physical world, unlike the mental world of my mind.

Beginning with the End in Mind keeps me focused on the bigger accomplishments I want to manifest before I reach the end of my life.  Since the end could come tomorrow I stay fairly conscious of what is most important to me from day to day.  As a writer, I have larger, overarching goals having to do with establishing myself as an author and leader.  But I also have more immediate objectives when writing.  What do I want to write about?  How long is my message or story?  What are the major conflicts or tenets of the piece?  What genre am I writing?  Do I have a starting conflict and a conclusion in mind?  This habit is always going on in the background and only takes shape when I take action but it is the first step toward action.

Putting First Things First allows me to stay on track day by day.  When my son was younger I prioritized parenting first above all else.  As a single parent this didn’t mean I didn’t prioritize work or other tasks because they contributed to the number one priority.  As a writer, I focus on the discipline of writing every week but I do the research required, set up a schedule for myself and attend to the other details that support my goal.  I remain conscious of the things that are unrelated to writing or take me away from my discipline of writing.  If I find myself drawn to another area of life I take the time to explore why it is important and usually find out I have neglected some aspect of myself.  In those cases I readjust to bring more balance into my life but I maintain as much of my schedule for writing as possible.  I don’t renege on my weekly commitment to go to my critique circle or meet with my writing partner.

Thinking Win-Win is a general philosophy that infuses my life.  It involves both heart and mind seeking mutual benefit and mutual respect.  It is the ‘we’ more than the ‘me’.  As a writer this win-win attitude has been incredibly fulfilling.  When I think of my audience and write for them I tap deeper parts of my creativity.  I write to them as intelligent people on their own journey and strive to stretch my own expression in words that convey thoughtful, meaningful ideas.  I recognize the reader’s need to be drawn into the story, put the pieces of conflict together for themselves and figure out where the story is going before I reveal too much.  I make the writing emotionally rewarding for the reader so that they find fulfillment and satisfaction.

Seeking First to Understand, Then to Be Understood puts me in direct relationship with each of my characters.  When I listen to who they are I create more realistic characters.  Using critique circles also helps me to understand what about my writing isn’t working for my readers so that I can adjust the words to blend the message and the meaning. Seeking to understand takes courage.  In a critique circle we must not be so thin-skinned as to defend our position.  It requires openness to criticism and consideration of another’s experience in order to effectively blend and balance the two sides of the equation - the message and my meaning.

Synergizing often leads to a unique and new twist in my stories.  When I am able to bring in the feedback from my critique circles and find ways to infuse the meaning I am trying to convey a unique alchemy often occurs.  I end up with an even better outcome and often a surprising direction for my own story, one that I could have never achieved without the blending of the feedback and my own creative direction.  It is a way that often turns out better than either my original thought or the feedback I receive because it is a higher synthesis of the ideas that emerges as a result of respecting, valuing and even celebrating the differences.

Sharpening the Saw is the way I am constantly renewing my creative self.  In Effective Living is involves four basic areas of life: physical, social/emotional, mental and spiritual.  As a writer these four aspects of living renew my creative ability to write.  Especially important to remember is that adding something to these aspects does not always have a positive effect.  Sometimes removing something from these areas has a more effective outcome.  When I take something out of my life, whether it is the business of my schedule, the clutter in my home or office, the routine of my spiritual practice or the drama of my life, I find a peaceful rest that underlies all business.  A rest that renews and refreshes my soul and me creative expression.

These are the basic building blocks of effectiveness for writers.  Moving from Effectiveness to Greatness, The 8th Habit, is a paradigm shift.  It catapults us into a new landscape where we find true fulfillment, relevance and contribution.  It leads us to our authentic self, a self-actualized self, as described by Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of motivational needs.  And in doing so, we find our authentic voice.  As readers voice becomes recognizable when we follow an established writer.  For ourselves as writers, finding our voice launches us into a greater expansion of influence.  Our readership can find us and our fans will continue to follow us.  It is as much an internal choice to be true to ourselves as it is to default to the influences around us, the cultural norms, the family expectations, or the religious dogmas that formed our life foundations.  Once we are truly effectively independent and interdependent we become leaders.  We break with old ways of thinking and become pathfinders, scouts and change agents.  And our writing is the avenue with which we do it.

Writing Partnerships - Creating Together

Writing Partnerships
            Creating Together

“Actually, none of us on this planet ever really choose each other.  It’s all quantum physics and molecular attraction.  There are laws we don’t understand that bring us together and break us apart.”
              - Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon) Bull Durham

If the thought of exploring writing partnerships has ever crossed your mind you may have  chosen one of two paths, outright dismissed it because, after all, writing is a solitary business, or figured you could never find the right partner.  Though there are certain things that necessarily stem from good writing partnerships much of the alchemy of creativity comes from transforming the raw substance of each partner.  The outcome is as unique as the two writers themselves. 

Some of the reasons people work together is it’s just more fun.  It’s not that either of you couldn't create the project on your own but it’s not nearly as exciting as brainstorming, laughing and creating together.  Those who have written together, and the list is longer than you might think, swear they’d never go back.  For one thing, it’s just not as motivating writing alone day after day.  Although you can both hit lows at the same point, somehow partners manage to pull each other through.  One of the other key benefits to working together usually results in work that is more well-rounded.  Inevitably each partner brings different strengths to the table.  One may have more gut-splitting humor, the other an incredible way of turning intimate scenes into smoking-hot eroticism.  One will have a knack for weaving complex subplots the other for pacing and momentum.  Collaboration makes it possible to turn out work that is better than either alone could create.  It’s the key to incredibly creative output, and as readers, movie-goers and TV-watchers, we are all better off because of it.

Although writers often enjoy writing alone the synergy that occurs in a writing partnership cannot be duplicated.  The plots and characters are more robust, the scenes more alive.  And lest you think all writing partnerships are about both people writing consider that some writing partnerships are most fruitful by collaborating on story arc or character development.  Others, when stuck or struggling can be the think tank needed to stir new juice into the mix.  Brainstorming, working out scenarios and crafting pitch perfect endings are other ways writing partnerships can enhance your writing process.  So the next time you feel stuck or your creative streak has gone bone dry, invite someone your respect, whose mind inspires you, to spend twenty or thirty minutes in collaboration.  You’ll be amazed how quickly the compounded benefits of two minds working together will have you over your struggle and off and running again.

Writing Partnerships - The Alchemy of Creativity

Writing Partnerships
The Alchemy of Creativity

“I always collaborated with somebody, because if you think that I am speaking lousy English now, you should have heard it then.”
- from Conversations with Wilder


Like any artist, most authors have come to accept that our craft is a solo activity.  Yet as writers we have the unique ability to challenge that notion by introducing partnership into the creative process.  Writing partnerships offer a unique opportunity to enter the creative unknown.  Writing partnerships bring both the normal challenges of story, structure and character and the added challenges of process, communication and personal relationship together.  In working out the first set of challenges with a writing partner, we usually encounter the other.

The emotional impact of working with a writing partner can range from disagreement and annoyance to an almost magical sense of joy and aliveness.  The important thing to remember is that most emotions, positive or negative, can be channeled into the creative process.  Here are some guidelines that may help with the transformation of emotion to creative output.

1. We must give the other time.  The process of working with a writing partner is different than writing alone.  Like any partnership we are affected by each other.  Sometimes the interplay of writing, back and forth, taps a genuine place of mystical connectedness, of love and magic but the spoken dialogue brings it crashing down, breaking that spell.  Learning these dynamics within the writing relationship requires time to integrate and negotiate the process with each other.
2. Remain conscious of the relationship dynamics and how they affect you.  Spend time processing both your work and your reaction to the relationship interaction, and then negotiate your path.
3. Be open to change.  The partnership will change you.  The project will be the result of your willingness to grow as a person and as a writer.
4. Growth means change.  Change can be painful.  Take the time you need to learn about yourself, commit to personal growth.  A writer’s depth of self fuels story.
5. Incorporate what you learn into your writing and your story as you go.  This is a creative process and one fuels the other.  Incorporating the organic byproduct of your relationship fuels your growth as a writer and the growth of the story.
6. Some of the most creative writers work in teams.  Think Boswell and Johnson Bronte, Wordsworth and Coleridge, Rowan and Martin, ok, well maybe not.  But think of television writing teams like Kevin Kopelow and Heath Seifert of Nickelodeon or the staff teams of classics like Mary Tyler Moore, Saturday Night Live, or The Simpsons.  In reality we all work in teams even when we work alone.  The wild, crazy, raw and creative material comes from one part of our minds while the more practical, disciplined, editing portion somewhere else.  Their interplay must be navigated and combined for maximum, creative output.  Given the diversity of ideas and interaction, writing with an outside partner multiplies the creative input.  

So the next time you’re struck by a creative idea, impulse or project look around and consider the possibility of a collaborative writing partnership.  Even if it is a simple piece or short essay, try it on.  Try it out.  It’s one of the best ways to get your creative juices flowing again and turn lead into gold.

Tapping Your Inner Guidance System

Many people are discovering the still small voice that resides within.  It is a source of wisdom and guidance, leading us on the journey of our lives.  It can help us tap into our life purpose or keep us safe in difficult situations.  It can show us the underlying meaning in health challenges and help us navigate extreme emotions.

If you are one of those who have undergone a spiritual awakening and learned the gifts inherent in the deeper soul you are familiar with this part of yourself.  Perhaps you know it as your intuition or the divine hand at work.  Regardless of how we identify it, giving ourselves the time each day to visit the inner sanctuary strengthens its presence in our lives.

One of the best ways of developing your inner guidance system is spending 20 minute in quiet meditation each day before leaving the house.  It's the best way I know for staying grounded in that deeper place when the outside world starts distracting us.

Years ago I found the simplest way of strengthening this inner guidance system was by simply playing games while driving or shopping.  As I approached the booths on the toll road I would scan the lines to see which one was shortest.  Then I would suspend my judgment and allow myself to simply feel which line I was drawn to.  As you've surely experienced, the shortest line is not always the fastest.  The game was to see if my intuition or inner guidance system could pick the quickest lane.  Nine times out of ten it did and most of those were not the shorter lines.

Another game I often played took place in the local Walgreen's store.  As I walked through the aisles, I would allow myself to follow that inner nudging toward one aisle or another.  Surprisingly, the inner guidance took me right to some obscure item that had been in the back of my mind but which hadn't become important enough to reach my shopping list, yet.

Needless to say, the more familiar I became with my inner guidance the more it became a reliable resource to use in more important situations.  I can't tell you the times I've listened to it and found myself avoiding freeway accidents, running into strangers who needed to talk about something for which I had just the right answer, or finding something I was certain had been lost.

So make a game of it!  Tune in and see where you inner guidance system leads you in little things that don't really matter.  You might be surprised to find that the little genius inside you will show up when you need it most!

Reflections on a Career Chosen by Default: Part 4

Today is the final part of my 'things I love about my career' series.  So much has happened since I last posted two months ago.  My hiatus was filled with wonderful opportunities.  The first afforded me the opportunity to embark on and complete a book proposal for the transformational writing contest organized by Chistine Kloser, the transformational author catalyst.  The second was the opportunity to spend a full week in Ohio with family and friends, something which happens only rarely.


Both opportunities touched that part of me that is passionate about inspiring hope in others and contributing to their well being, fulfillment and satisfaction.  It is my desire to write in a way that invites you to take the next step and move your own life to the next level.  So get in touch with that still, small voice inside and learn to trust the evolutionary being that we are.  


Make a difference in your world, more of the time...and when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.  Remember everything confronting you on your journey through life has potential for both opportunity as well as crisis.  It is how we choose to see it that makes all the difference.  So, "When life presents you with a fork in the road, take it!" and navigate it to the best of your ability, avoiding crisis and maximizing opportunity.  Which is exactly what  I did these past two months.

Part of living a life of 'no regrets' comes from taking advantage of the what happens every day of our lives.  In re-tooling these posts from my original article for Angela Brooks my hope is to inspire you to spend five minutes jotting down the top 10 reasons you love your career and reflect on the inherent gifts in them, and in so doing begin your own adventure that will take you to the next level of your own life.  


Without further delay, I leave you with the final things I love about a career chosen by default.


HUMAN RESPONSE PATTERNS

Many wonderful gifts have come through my career as a nurse but one of the greatest, by far, came unexpectedly when I stumbled across the Handbook to Holistic Nursing Practice and began pursuing my certification as a holistic nurse.  Aside from my own spiritual awakening during that time, which was monumental, the paradigm shift accompanying it transformed my consciousness in a way that allowed me to see people as evolutionary human beings in an ever changing environment.

I had been using a process to develop plans of care for my patients developed by NANDA (formerly the North American Nursing Diagnosis Association) for most of my career.  To explain it simply, nursing diagnoses are clinical judgments about human experiences and responses to health conditions and life processes that help focus on methods and strategies for helping a person achieve better or greater health.

Having used them as a matter of routine, imagine my surprise in discovering those individual diagnoses such as alteration in comfort, relocation stress syndrome, etc. were actually built on something called human response patterns, 9 of them to be exact, that informed everything I knew or had intuitively grasped while caring for people.  It was like a light bulb suddenly went on in my mind and the bigger picture of human potential and growth became clear.

Those 9 human response patterns, with a short explanation, are:

EXCHANGING - physical and chemical processes/homeostasis
COMMUNICATING - sending messages
RELATING - establishing bonds
VALUING - assigning relative worth
CHOOSING - selecting alternatives
MOVING - activity
PERCEIVING - receiving information
KNOWING - meaning associated with information
FEELING - subjective awareness

From that point on, I began to understand that all patient behavior, symptoms, lifestyles, choices, etc. coalesce into recognizable human response patterns.  ‘Pattern recognition’ became my buzz word for bridging the science and the art of nursing and expanded my ability to take people from point A to point B more effectively.  How wonderful it was to learn and use a deeper, broader,  more effective base of nursing knowledge and wisdom, and how much more satisfying my interaction became with people from all walks of life.

SPIRITUALITY/HOLISM/CUTTING EDGE NEW THOUGHT

It was this path into holistic nursing that literally transformed and launched the second half of my career.  The holistic nursing program occupied two and a half years of my life and become a strong plank in the foundation I used to make sense of the spiritual awakening I was undergoing.  It formed the organizing principle behind my understanding of life and the world at large.

In 1989, a critical juncture in my personal and professional life, I was seriously considering changing careers altogether.  I had owned a small healthcare consulting business and made more money than I'd ever dreamed possible.  I was clearly at a juncture in my career but, after working a few months as a grocery checker, for which the manager pointed out I was sorely overqualified, I took a position in a rehab hospital.

I had gone to a medical bookstore for a care planning book to brush up on my clinical skills.  While  walking down an aisle in the nursing section, a large, pink volume literally fell off the shelf as I approached...The Handbook of Holistic Nursing Practice.  Now I had witnessed a number of amazing events in emergency rooms and intensive care units, things that at times seemed truly miraculous because they defied explanation.  But that day it struck me as odd that a book would seemingly jump off a shelf in front of me as if trying to get my attention.

In hindsight I know there are no coincidences and that things always happen for a reason.  Picking up that book changed my life and the journey that followed is really beyond the scope of this article.  Nevertheless, I began to see and become aware of a realm operating behind the day to day world with which we are more commonly familiar.  The health challenges people were presenting began to show me how consciousness was an emerging, expanding, transforming process occurring in each and every individual, a process in which we are all participating but which is most often seen during health crises.

Helping my patients navigate these challenges and assisting them in ‘seeing’ with a new set of eyes the transformation within their challenge taught me that health is expanding consciousness and that every health challenge brings an invitation to expand, grow and develop the next level of who we are becoming.  It  became obvious that evolution doesn't just happen over thousands and thousands of years, it happens in every moment, with every choice, in every interaction with another, and with every thing we do and think.

Nursing, once again, became the vehicle for my own next level of growth and development.  In hindsight it is easy to see that my nursing career did NOT live up to the expectations I had placed on it when I was forced to abandon my initial career choice in journalism.  But, how could it?  Those expectations were far too small for the journey.  Nursing had its own plans for me.  Bigger plans.  Better plans.  Plans I could have never dreamed.  It has taught me and shown me the depth and breadth of emotion and the heights of transcendent moments.  It has made me a bigger and definitely better person.  It has been a career that has changed me and allowed me to learn to love, to live with the unseen and to trust in the unknown mystery that always lies before us.

Reflections on a Career Chosen by Default: Part 3

As I re-work these posts from my original article I am struck by the fact that my life has been full of transformational experiences.  From the earliest days of my life I remember yearning for the next step.  Unlike many people I couldn't wait to grow up...now at 54 I still feel the same...what's around the next corner.

A mindset that is continually seeking growth and adventure is one that never gets old.  Given our short time here on earth, I want to live with that gusto as long as possible.  I've even been known to say I want to live to 120 because, after all, why sell yourself short!

Below are the next three gems I've gleaned from my career as a nurse...read them and see if they don't spark some sense of adventure in yourself.  Who knows, you, too may decide to pick up the quest again and make the most of the life you have yet to live!

SELF ESTEEM

With the discovery of my unique talents, being involved in saving numerous lives, and having the opportunity for continuous growth and ongoing self improvement, I can say without a doubt that my nursing career has directly impacted my own self esteem in a very positive way.

There were many times as a child where I felt inferior or less than those around me.  Even as a young adult those feelings plagued me.  When I was into the 'club' scene and dancing as often as I could there'd be nights where I'd look around at all the 'beautiful people' surrounding me and feel inadequate.   Now it didn't matter that I was already creating value in the world in my professional life.  The club scene was all about appearances and no one could tell by looking who I was.  It was a world that judged by appearances.

There finally came a point in my life where I had to dig deep enough to anchor the truth about my core.  It was there that I found real self esteem and it grew directly from what I had to offer the world.

So when you're feeling those twinges of insecurity, feeling 'less than' go to the mirror and look into your eyes and find the truth about you, the truth that is good and has value.  That's what I would do in those clubs so many years ago.  All it took was one look to realize I wasn't nearly as immaterial as I felt.  It's a simple strategy but it works!

ADDED VALUE

As I continue to enumerate the reasons why I have been truly gifted from my nursing career it becomes easier to see the contributions I have made to the individual lives of my patients and their families, but also to the nurses I have been blessed to work with.  I've learned from some of the greatest and most humble people on the face of this earth.

One of the most important women I've had the honor of working with was an LPN in Ohio who I credit with having taught me everything I needed for a solid foundation in nursing.  Shirley was not an easy person to work with, or so I was told.  The truth was, she was a damn good nurse and without her I may never have arrived where I am.  She was a beautiful blend of talent, hard work and fun.  She gave me a tremendous sense of self worth that I have leveraged into a career where I now add value to people’s lives.  Whether it's with a patient or a co-worker, the value is never only one direction.  The mutual relationship benefits both the giver and the receiver.

PEOPLE SKILLS/SOCIAL INTERACTION

Perhaps one of the most often cited reasons people go into nursing is to help others.  After many years in the field I began to reflect on the incredible people-skills I had learned.  Looking back, I can see how often I was picked to work with the ‘difficult’ patient or family member, and I realize how much joy I got from interacting with such diversity in the people who enter the health care arena.  That diversity had directly related to the opportunity to improve people skills and use my unique talents to make a contribution where others may have walked away because of the difficulty and challenge these people presented.

So the next time you face a difficult person or someone who challenges everything you believe in and think, pause, and wonder..."What would I do if I knew this person's behavior was driven by something so important, so incredible valuable they were willing to show up as my biggest problem?"

A little willingness to wonder sometimes opens doors we least expect and change us for the better.

Reflections on a Career Chosen by Default: Part 2

As I discussed in my last post, my career has been a truly transformational journey...one I could have never planned myself.  Today I want to continue with three more reasons I love my career and invite you to begin looking at the gifts you have reaped from your journey through life.

FINDING MY TALENT

When I graduated from nursing school it was a lot like graduating from any college.  I had to get out in the ‘real’ world and find out how to put my degree to work.  My nursing school instructors had taught us about ‘reality shock’ in the 'real' world beyond school but understanding it intellectually was nothing like experiencing it first hand. 

It was a rough and rocky start for me. 

In fact, one of my first supervisor’s told me I would never make a good nurse, then she intentionally tried to add insult to injury by saying I would be lucky to be an LVN/LPN.  Well, being young and inexperiences, I was sure she was right.  Luckily I was never raised to be a quitter.  So, I gathered myself up and went on down the road to apply for work at another hospital.  It was here that I received the unexpected offer to work as the charge nurse in the ICU. 

Looking back on it, I can see the humor in how that first interview went but at the time, I was dead serious.  When the Director of Nurses  offered me the job I told her I didn’t think it was the job for me because...and honest to God these were my exact words...I wasn’t a good nurse.  I can remember her smile and the conversation that followed.  The bottom line?  She promised they’d train me.  When I repeated myself she added "We won't leave you alone until you feel ready."  What could I say?  This awesome and incredible nurse believed in me and not only helped launch my career but unwittingly  helped me find my talent, because, I was never cut out to handle 30+ patients on a general med-surg floor where I had barely enough time to talk to each patient.  The ICU grants access to (and responsibility for) every single detail of one or two people’s well-being and care. 

It couldn’t have been better or more perfect fit for me.  I discovered it is better for me to handle the intensity of a crisis with sustained focus, and attention to subtle nuances, as well as the grueling hours of a high stress environment for 12 to 16 hours at a time.  Plus, I learned that in an emergency, when no one else steps forward to take charge, I can and do.

LEVERAGE/JOB VARIETY

Landing in that ICU early in my career surely helped to leverage my career in part because it honed my skills.  With those skills, nursing has offered me an incredible variety of job opportunities.  My willingness to learn and accept opportunity when it presented itself resulted in a long run of interesting and exciting jobs.  Aside from the ICU’s and ER’s, which are certainly exciting, I have had opportunities and experience  with spinal cord and head injuries in a rehab hospital, as a home health nurse and in hospice.  In a more wellness-oriented vein I was the coordinator for health promotion programs in four major corporations, have had my own case management business, been a clinical manager, taught full day workshops to other nurses on holistic nursing, coordinated performance improvement and staff education for a large home health company, been an auditor in a revenue management department for a county hospital system, handled financial and service contracts for incoming research protocols from medical schools, and contracted with attorneys for medical record reviews.  What do I do now?  Currently I work as a regulatory consultant, and will be teaching nursing students in an LVN school this fall.  You gotta love the variety.

LONGEVITY/REMAKING OF A CAREER

With all that variety comes a nice career with unusual longevity.  Most people face the challenge of transitioning to new careers at lest two to three times in their life time.  As you can see from the variety of jobs listed in the last paragraph, nursing has afforded me ample opportunity to remake my career without having to start from scratch.  In fact, longevity in nursing has been possible exactly because it has offered me such diversity.  It has truly offered me a journey like I could have never imagined.

In my next post, I'll begin with Reasons 6, 7 and 8...and a more personal look at how it has afforded me a truly transformational journey.