Thinking back on the challenges we all face in separating from our mothers and the subtle, pre-verbal emotional debris that lodges in our second chakra I began to wonder about what might be better stored at that level.
As the answers started to reveal themselves, I found myself hoping that it would also serve as an opportunity for deeper, multi-generational healing that can impact our children and their children in ways that continue to further healthier ways of living in the world.
First the easy answers...
1. We are both loved and lovable.
- Can you think of even one person who loves you? Sit for just a moment and think about this. What is your experience like of being loved? Shift to feeling loved and let go of all your thoughts. Allow the feelings of being loved flow through you.
- Next shift your attention to your body. What does your body feel when it is lovable? Allow the love to permeate through your body? Can you drop down into the depth of your true self...the self that is pure and whole? Can you let yourself feel the Self that is totally and completely lovable? It is not about what you do...only who you are. This is your state of being. Your lovable self.
2. Our minds are filled with things we say to ourselves. Most of the time we're so used to these things we don't even realize they are there. The next time you notice you're feeling ill at ease or a little off take a moment and listen to your thoughts.
Do they begin with things like..."I'll never..." or "How can I ever..." or "I hate....". These are the thoughts that drain our good feelings away from our experience in the present moment. Enough of these and we affect our biology...our immune system, our endocrine system, our digestive system. Eventually the chemical changes in our biology affect the actual structure of our cells...we age at a rapid rate, we are prone to infections or allergies, we become exhausted and cannot tolerate certain aspects of our diet.When you begin to notice these thoughts and feelings, stop for a moment and take a deep breath. Let go of any thought that's been running around in your mind and notice the physical surroundings in your immediate environment. Cultivate feelings of appreciation and love. Challenge the thought you've been having. I use a simple 3-step process. It goes like this...
- Notice the negative thought
- Challenge it. Is it 100% accurate and real? Is it the only truth?
- When you find that it's not, as you certainly will, restate the deeper truth.
- And one bonus step...write the new truth as a positive affirmation.
Let me give you an example:
- Why can't I ever be on time?
- Wait! I'm on time a lot of the time. It's just this time that I'm running late. (And even if I'm often late, I know I'm not ALWAYS late).
- I am really only late some of the time and it's usually for things I don't really want to do. Or because I was engaged in something I didn't want to leave.
- I love and appreciate that a deeper part of myself knows what I love and what I don't. I commit to living from my deeper truth and organizing my life around it.
Simple...right?
Next the more difficult part...
- How do we impact the next generations?
It is often easier to do the work I've covered in private...in our own journal or our private time. However, the outward impact of taking this to our loved ones is profound!
A ratio of 5:1 of acknowledgments to criticisms is necessary to impact another. What are we usually filling our conversations with when we speak to our loved ones. Recently I have taken the opportunity to sit with my son in the evening and take turns doing this with each other.
It's harder than you might think.
But by the time we get to the 4th and 5th compliments I can literally see the happiness on his face and I can feel it inside myself. It establishes a flow so profound that our children want to jump right into us and warm up to the motherly love they once felt as babies. I have seen it first hand. He will lean over and give me a hug and say "I love you so much, Mom!" It makes a world of difference after an evening of prodding, or worse, to get homework done for the next day.
Ask yourself these questions:
What do you see in your child?
What do you appreciate in your child?
What do you admire in your child?
Then, share it with them.Have a wonderful day!
