More Questions...

In my last article, I began with a statement of how hard I was, as a child, to put down. The article morphed until I was in the midst of another topic that is close to me heart - healing. And, I think, as this article goes on, you may come to see that there is a relationship with the entry statement in the last blog and the end result of healing through the chakras. So, reader, if you will, bear with me...

As a child, my memory of those weekend nights at the Hoffman's were of parents talking, playing Euchre, and enjoying each other's company late into the night. With the exception of the isolated event where I was terrorized, my memory of these times is of fun and laughter.

Late in the evening the other kids would eventually wear themselves out, curl up in a corner or on a couch, and fall asleep. That I, on the other hand, would still be running around, full of life and energy and fun, still baffles me. It is one of the stories that has always made me feel different. One of the stories that has made me wonder why I was noticeably unlike the others.

I have always been fun-loving, cheerful, a good sport...yet deep inside there was something else that lurked beyond the eyes of the others. The face that I carry in the world is strong and true. But, the energy that lays beneath feels powerfully strong as well.

At one point in life, it seemed that life had sent me too many losses...enough to make me wonder if I had the energy to go on. Still, the smile rose to my face and I met the outside world with the grace of a ballerina at the top of her career. Subtly, inside, things were shifting.

Fears and losses seem to conspire to cause a deep, unsettled load of grief. Somewhere in the middle of life, people seem to face a shift in perspective. They begin to realize the pain and loss of the past and wonder about the remaining years they have to accomplish whatever they might have thought life was supposed to bring.

Having worked for years in hospitals and with sick or dying people, I've seen two kinds of people...those who manage to navigate the awakening reality of a finite life on this earth...and those who become bitter and ask 'Why me?'
I would put forth the idea that either of these types of people still face a choice point when they arrive at midlife with this awakening. And the choice is simply this: which path will they take for what remains of their time on the planet?

For those who live in the finite world of a concrete, tangible reality there may be little left to enjoy. But for those who look deeper inside there just may be a wisdom that can be tapped that will lead them into the second half of life with a joi de verve.

Looking back, it becomes possible to tease out the threads of a deeper undercurrent that was running through our lives from the earliest memories. Despite the losses and fears that may have marked our journey, we can begin to find the path that has undergirded our steps along the way.

And, for some of us, like myself, that path has been sourced by an energy current laden with gifts that were double edged swords. Gifts of intense sensitivity to the feeling and emotional realm...gifts of sensory awareness that was greater than our peers...gifts that may or may not have been understood by our families and friends.
In my journey through life, I came face to face with an entirely new world when I reached my 30's...it wasn't mid-life, yet, but it was the threshold of mid-life...and it brought me through a doorway I had no conscious idea existed.

As I became more aware of the underlying wounds that had been sustained during a full and incredible life, I struggled with my purpose and my gifts, of which I had felt certain, when I was coming of age.

Those struggles took me first on a journey toward the deep investigation of each and every event...every wound. What I found was incredible. The more I studied the wounds the more there were. Ultimately it dawned on me that if I continued I could spend the rest of my life dealing with the pain and sadness of my life. Ugh!

About that time, I happened across a focus in my work that gave me an entirely different direction to explore...that of healing and ultimately healing systems in other cultures.

As I mentioned in the last blog post, I recently ran across material on the chakras again. And in my time of struggle was, once again reminded that there is a way of focusing away from the wounding and into the higher realms of our being.

It is these levels of reality that I will take us to next, dear reader. And if, this seems to have delayed what was promised in my last post, I ask your acceptance of my apology. In bringing all the pieces of this journey together I see it has required this segue from my life experiences through the transition in understanding to reach the outcome of an ancient Indian system.

............to be continued